Life in Korea: FAQ

In the last update I promised that with each new update I'd try to give some insight on life here and what we are experiencing. Last time I focused on some of the language translation issues we see around town. This time I thought I'd be more general and take a second to answer what I think are the most commonly asked questions we've been asked since coming over here.

Without further ado...

How do we like living in Korea?  This one is pretty easy and I think people who read my updates can probably guess the answer...Yes, we like it here very much. GM has treated us very well in setting us up with a great place to live and we've made some terrific friends here. Also, in coming over here we thought it would be a great chance to see and do things we never would have a chance to experience otherwise. It's certainly provided us that and probably exceeded those expectations, in ways that delight and irritate, more than we ever planned on. We like our life here very much and think Korea is one of the best foreign assignments GM has to offer.

What are people in Korea like?  Probably one of the toughest questions to answer.  The people here in general are easily among the friendliest I have met anywhere. Stare at a subway map too long and people will stop and try to help even if they don't speak English (which often results in you still not ending up where you wanted, but hey they try). There is no question that people here really want to help visitors and they take pride in representing their country.

What can make the question hard to answer is that Korean culture is situational and relationship based. So a person you meet on the street might be very kind when they have no context to know you and the situation is very neutral. But if you see that same person in a business setting or if they are a shop owner and you are now a customer, they might seem cold or even hostile until you work with them for a period of time or shop in their store several times. This can be a bit unnerving and puts a lot of foreigners off here.

Also, and this is true of people from any very different culture, local behaviors can make them seem very, very foreign at times (as I'm sure my behaviors do to them). For example, to Westerners people hacking and spitting in public is a disgusting habit, here it's quite normal as is slurping when you eat (especially noodles). Behavior like this, if you are already a bit out of sorts or having a rough week, can make you feel suddenly like you are living among very strange and different people. These moments are perhaps more frequent than I would like in Korea and Asia in general just because norms here are far different from the US norms than say, German norms. But always in hind sight they are actually pretty rare.

But even with the cultural issues that crop up from time to time (and which I know I will leave here never having fully understood), I have meet many people here that I am proud to call friends and will never forget. The people in all the places I travel to are the best part of the trips. The Korean people are terrific examples of this and I'm glad I'm getting to spend time here with them.

What's the biggest difference between life in Korea and the US? The biggest difference between just about anywhere and the US is the general lack of formality in the US. We are a pretty loose bunch. Here this difference is amplified by the culture of Confucianism which sets up a social hierarchy for everyone based on job, age, sex, and roles. It's very hard to explain to someone who has not experienced it but in Korea the formalities can be such that a junior staff person is not even capable of asking a question to a senior staff person. I don't mean they are forbidden to do so. I mean that there are not even words in the language that enable you to ask the question - there is no honorific that allows you to approach people a certain number of positions above you. That type of difference, especially for me in the work setting, is the biggest difference I see and it runs throughout the culture affecting who is actually accountable under the law and even making people feel they must buy cars that are only black, white or silver (the 3 colors associated with varying degrees of affluence here and which make up about 90% of our product here).

Come on, it can't be all roses. What do you dislike about being there? The only thing I truly, truly dislike would really be the tendency in all of Asia to test me at dinners with odd local delicacies. I know the people doing this are aware Westerners don't care for much of this food. They are purposefully trying to test you and I find it highly offensive. Mostly this is now over for me but we often have to remind people setting up a dinner for out of town guests that our purpose is to get to know people and feed them. Not see if we can make them ill and shock them. 

I also have to admit that there are other things that creep up on me occasionally and make me nuts. These come and go but on occasion I have been known to rant about the ridiculous behavior of taxi and bus drivers, shop owners who refuse to negotiate with me because I am obviously a foreigner and they feel I can afford any price they charge (even if I know they are selling to Koreans cheaper), and the smells around town that are uniquely foreign and to my nose disgusting (kimchi and red pepper odors in particular can get on my nerves).

Do you get home sick? Sure, all of us do from time to time. The kids probably worse than Nancy and me. Both kids really miss their friends in the US and their grandparents. Nancy and I also miss our family and friends especially around the time when there are seasonal events (holidays for Nancy and the kids, my annual ski trip with my dad and brother now in hiatus year 2). We all also miss the ability to go out and do things that in the US were easier and here require more effort or are just really out of the question. Shopping always requires more time here and some activities just aren't done much here.

What do you miss most from home? Well it's an election year and I really miss all the election TV ads - NOT!  Believe it or not I miss the ability to work on my house most. I have plenty to keep me busy here, but I miss having little projects (note the word LITTLE) that were just routines things I did at home. Cutting the grass, working on my deck, even just changing the oil in the car. For some reason I can't put my finger on, every now and then I feel like I should be out doing those things. Mostly it's the outdoor stuff so I think it's just that here we don't have much outside time. But those are things I miss the most frequently. Someone must remind me of this statement when I move back to the US and get caught griping about spending time doing these things.

What's driving like?  Ok, remember the last time you went to a sporting event or concert and stayed till the end and left with everyone. And remember how you had to buffalo your way in and out of lanes for 15 minutes just to move 100 ft? Now imagine you have to do that same thing at least once per day. And Sometimes (every Monday morning and every Friday night) you might do this several times during a trip to or from work. Now add in taxi driver's who cut you off, block traffic to pick-up or drop-off fares, and just generally drive like they own the place. Now also add in bus drivers who will do anything to get where they must go and know that here "mass is might" and they always win that battle. Next consider that most people driving here are first generation drivers (nobody is showing people a right way to do things) and that rule of law is fairly low (police enforce very little). Now mix in motorcycle and scooter drivers who cut between vehicles, go the wrong way, run traffic lights, drive on sidewalks and carry everything on the back of their bikes from 12 foot long carpet rolls to glass window panels. That's driving here. And it's MUCH better here than in China or in India. MUCH, MUCH better.

What's the strangest food you have eaten?  Easy one. That would be the still moving octopus tentacles. I was invited out for dog this year but declined. I am also told that on my next trip to the southern portion of Korea my hosts will take me out for fermented fish (fish left to rot in the sun for a while before being served - supposed to bring out the taste). And I know there is also a fish dish here that is served raw with the fish still wiggling even though it has already been cut up to eat. So, hey, this answer could change. Then again, it's hard to top still moving tentacles that stick to your check when you eat them. Yeah, that's likely to stay on top for a looooonnnnnggg time.

Would you decide to live over there if you had to do it again? Absolutely. Again, it's been a great experience so far. No regrets and while there are things I might do different there is nothing I would not do (except maybe find a way to pass on those octopus tentacles).

When do you come back (or will we come back)?  My assignment to Seoul is for 3 years with about 1.5 years now completed. No word yet on that changing but it could be extended if all parties agreed to it. If all went as scripted we would return to the US October 1st, 2009.

Regarding if we will come back to the US when this assignment is over, I think we'll just have to see what the opportunities are. I'd love a chance to work in Australia or Europe. China or Thailand also have some appeal and there may be others we'd have to learn more about. But, it will depend on the job offered and on the length of the assignment. And, of course, it depends on what the family's thoughts are on the subject. Time will tell on this question.